Secretary Of State Marco Rubio Announces That He Will NOT Be The Next Head Coach Of The Miami Dolphins

The coaching search continues.

Secretary of State Marco Rubio has announced that he will NOT be the next head coach of the Miami Dolphins, after the NFL team parted ways with now-former coach Mike McDaniel this morning.

Wait, what? Did anybody actually assume he was going to be?

Well no, but it’s part of an ongoing meme on social media making fun of all the roles Rubio is serving in the Trump administration.

The former senator for the state of Florida, who was appointed by President Donald Trump to serve as Secretary of State at the beginning of his second administration, is also currently serving as the acting archivist of the United States, the acting National Security Advisor, and formerly served as the acting Administrator of USAID before it was shut down.

It seems like Rubio has been the go-to cabinet member to fill any open roles in the government, and it’s since become a running joke that Rubio will be filling any job that opens up – like president of Venezuela:

And Postmaster General:

And CEO of Cracker Barrel:

As well as pretty much any open coaching job:

Well earlier today, news broke that a job close to Rubio’s home was opening up as Miami Dolphins owner Stephen Ross announced that head coach Mike McDaniel had been fired.

McDaniel has been in Miami since 2022, going 35-33 in four seasons, including two playoff appearances in his first two seasons (both of which were losses in the AFC Wild Card round).

Of course his record probably isn’t entirely on the coaching staff: Miami quarterback Tua Tagovailoa has been inconsistent at best, and has battled numerous injuries forcing him to miss games over the past few years, despite a massive contract. And in his first couple of years in Miami, McDaniel had one of the most explosive offenses in the NFL.

The quirky coach also gave some great press conferences and soundbites over the years, although it seems that his schtick grew old with Dolphins fans once they stopped winning as much…

Anyway, after it was announced that McDaniel had been fired, the internet immediately began congratulating the only logical candidate as his replacement: Marco Rubio.

Unfortunately for the Phins though, it sounds like Rubio isn’t interested in the job.

The Secretary of State quickly took himself out of the running for the job, confirming that he will NOT, in fact, be adding head football coach to his already-long list of job titles:

“I do not normally respond to online rumors but feel the need to do so at this moment

I will not be a candidate for the currently vacant HC and GM positions with the Miami Dolphins.

While you never know what the future may bring right now my focus must remain on global events and also the precious archives of the United States of America.”

On to the next candidate on the list I guess.

It’s honestly pretty funny how online this administration is, and how willing they are to play into viral memes. Of course Vice President JD Vance has also embraced the “fat JD” meme that’s taken off, even dressing as the meme that liberals use to mock him for Halloween:

But I’m sure Marco is relieved that he doesn’t have to try to take a team to the Super Bowl with Tua as quarterback next year. That’s probably harder than capturing the dictator of Venezuela anyway.The post Secretary Of State Marco Rubio Announces That He Will NOT Be The Next Head Coach Of The Miami Dolphins first appeared on Whiskey Riff.