Dale Earnhardt Jr. Recalls Returning To Daytona For The First Time After His Father’s Death: “This Really Strange Feeling Of Freedom”

If you haven’t watched this Earnhardt documentary yet, what are you doing?

The final two episodes of Earnhardt on Amazon Prime, which chronicles the life and career of NASCAR legend Dale Earnhardt in a brutally unfiltered way, dropped this week. And it’s easily one of the best documentaries I’ve ever seen.

The documentary was made with help from Earnhardt’s friends and family members, and features a ton of rare footage as well as new interviews with those who were closest to him. It documents his rise in NASCAR, his rivalries on the track, his relationship with his family, and of course his untimely death in the 2001 Daytona 500.

Far from being a rosy portrayal, the documentary doesn’t shy away from Earnhardt’s faults, especially when it came to his relationship with his children, Dale Earnhardt Jr., Kelley Earnhardt and Kerry Earnhardt. The show dives deep into the nuance of the relationship that Earnhardt had with his own father, and how he seemed to carry that on through his relationship with his children. And it’s incredible powerful.

Of course one of the big storylines in the documentary is Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s own NASCAR career, and the pressure he felt to become a race car driver himself to make his dad proud. In fact, at one point Earnhardt’s longtime friend Hank Parker reveals that both Earnhardt and Junior felt that the only time their father loved them was when they won a race, and Junior said during an interview that his father would tell everybody else how proud he was of his son, but would never say it directly to Junior.

It’s that kind of complicated portrait of a man who was larger than life that’s explored in depth throughout the documentary, and it’s incredibly well done.

The final episode focuses largely on Earnhardt’s death at Daytona and the aftermath of trying to carry on without him. And of course, one of those who was tasked with carrying on his legacy was his son, Dale Jr.

Throughout the first half of the 2001 season, Junior was often called upon to do appearances that had been scheduled for his dad, or accept awards from tracks honoring his late father. And it was wearing on Junior, who not only was dealing with his father’s death but was also trying to build his own career.

NASCAR, of course, returned to Daytona for the Pepsi 400 just six months after Earnhardt’s death. And to try to get their minds off of everything that was going on, Junior and some buddies packed up a tricked out Suburban and headed to Daytona early for some time to decompress.

One of the things that Junior decided to do when they got to Daytona was to try to get into the track, so he could visit the spot where his father died and try to get an idea of the emotions that he would face when he returned:

“I couldn’t drive past that track and go into town and hang out just knowing what had happened there…

I don’t know exactly where daddy hit the wall. I don’t know exactly where his car came to rest. But I kinda came to that general area, and I just got out… I just walked off by myself and stood around a little bit, and just looked around. Just didn’t even really think. I was just there.

And I wanted, I think, really to see how I would feel. Would I get emotional? Would it be too much? Would it feel too heavy? Would I have a problem with it? I didn’t know.

If I was going to have some kind of a reaction I didn’t want to have it in front of everybody.”

But as it turns out, Earnhardt says that he was able to make peace with Daytona during that moment:

“I thought about it in that moment, and I was like, ‘You know, my dad loved racing. Loved Daytona. He loved winning. He was proud of it.’

And I just had this feeling in the moment that I shouldn’t be mad at it. I shouldn’t dread going to Daytona. But at the same time there was this weird feeling…I almost hesitate to say this because it isn’t going to make sense to anybody. But there was this really strange feeling of freedom.

I felt guilty even about feeling that way at all. I felt so guilty. I mean, I’m still in the beginning of my, hopefully a long career. And so I kinda decided then and there that I wasn’t going to hold anything against the track. And if anything, Daytona was even more special, because it was where dad had passed away.”

Of course NASCAR fans know what happened during the race that weekend: Junior ended up winning the first race at Daytona since his father died, celebrating in the infield in one of the most emotional moments in the sport’s history.

And he would go on to have quite a bit of success at the track that took his father’s life. He won the Daytona 500 twice, and added one more win in the summer race back in 2015 – which would turn out to be the second to last win of his career.

Like I said, if you haven’t watched the documentary yet, it’s well worth your time. It’s a nuanced look at an incredibly complex man. Not just Dale Earnhardt the race car driver, but Dale Earnhardt the friend, the son, the businessman, and most importantly, Dale Earnhardt the father.