Billy Bob Thornton Grew Up With An Abusive Father, But Still Loved & Appreciated Him: “People Think I’m Insane For Saying That”

Opening up about his past.

Billy Bob Thornton spends most of his time under studio lights, being a key actor in many hit TV shows and movies, or pursuing his other passion, music, when he’s not in the midst of a significant role.

However, Thornton did not have an easy road getting to where he is today. There are many stories of hardship and overcoming struggles in Hollywood, but Billy Bob Thornton’s story might be different from others, as he looks back on his hardships through a lens of forgiveness and gratitude for where they have led him today.

Thornton grew up in Malvern, Arkansas, with a large family that worked blue-collar jobs. Thronton witnessed quite a few horrific things as a child, like a hit and run that killed the victim right outside of his home at the age of 6. However, his childhood innocence protected him from traumas like this and other financial hardships his parents were dealing with.

“We didn’t have a lot of money. But you know when you’re a kid you don’t know that. I mean you’re not aware of all of that kind of stuff.” 

He once told ABC News. However, there were some things that Thornton knew were unusual, like his father hitting his mother and other family members. Thornton’s dad was abusive, with his mother sharing that Billy Bob Thornton was first struck by his father at the young age of three or four. There were times when his father would even bring out a belt to whip his children.

Because of this physical abuse, the famed actor developed OCD, counting down every day to when his father would come home from work, filled with dread instead of excitement to see his father. When talking to ASX, Thornton shared that he felt like a massive part of why his father chose violence when disciplining him was due to the time period he was brought up in.

“Physically, it was pretty hard. Emotionally, it was pretty hard… As a man, and it’s real hard to get across to people in the current society. We were raised in a place and time where you were told that you had to be the biggest, the strongest, the best, you had to be the fastest, you know? It was real easy to become a failure in the eyes of your father.”

Thornton shared that his father came from a long line of rough-and-tough sawmill workers. Because of this, it came with a certain expectation of what a man should be, and that caused conflict in his household when he expressed interest in the arts. Thornton shared that his desire to learn to play the piano as a boy in his house went against the ideals of what being a man looked like.

Despite the abuse that Thornton faced growing up, he now can see why his father was the way he was, and now appreciates him.

“The thing about it that I learned, that I appreciate now… a lot of what he was trying to say was right. His values and the things he was trying to instill in me, he didn’t know how to do it and he did it in a horrible way, but guys of his time and area they weren’t real communicative people.

What ended up happening was this frustration. I think he felt like a bigger man than he was. I think he felt trapped in a world that he knew he was better than, but he didn’t have the language for it, so it came out in other ways. I loved my father, and people think I’m insane for saying that. But I get him, I get him 100%. I have some of his problems.”

Thornton, who battled a severe case of dyslexia as a child, notes that he sees many similarities in the mental health struggles he dealt with in his father when looking back on his childhood. Thornton suffers from anxiety and believes his father did too. But given that it was during a time when mental health was not taken as seriously, instead of learning coping mechanisms and how to regulate it, like Thornton has, his father expressed these feelings in a violent way.

While Thornton might not have a good relationship with his father, he notes that the women in his life allowed him to lean into his creative side. Thornton said that he was the first male grandson and son in his family, and women constantly surrounded him. As he grew older, he realized that the women in his family told stories and created dialogue, which the men did not, often keeping to themselves and playing board games. Because of this, Thornton developed a love for storytelling, which eventually led him to join a band and begin his career as a musician before transitioning into acting.

However, even after coming into his skin, the abuse of his father always stayed with him, needing him to succeed to get that slight bit of approval.

“Because of being raised in that environment, I think it drove me to succeed.” 

After all these years, Thornton has forgiven his father and advises those in similar situations to get out. But he also shared with those struggling not to punish the person who has inflicted hurt on you. It’s more powerful to forgive and leave than to inflict revenge.

“I say get away from it, but don’t punish the person who has inflicted it upon you. Forgive them and leave.”

The post Billy Bob Thornton Grew Up With An Abusive Father, But Still Loved & Appreciated Him: “People Think I’m Insane For Saying That” first appeared on Whiskey Riff.