Travis Kelce Woke Up This Morning Knowing The World Heard Taylor Swift’s Steamy Ode To His… “Wood”

A whole song seemingly dedicated to his manhood… not a bad day for Travis Kelce.

Checking the pulse of all the Swifties out there. How are we doing? How are we liking Life Of A Showgirl? Did you survive the Spotify crash at midnight?

Taylor officially announced the new album back in August, during an appearance on her now-fiancé’s podcast, New Heights. And of course, her rabid fanbase has been not-so-patiently waiting since then to finally get their first listen to Taylor’s 12th studio album.

But some of them had to wait longer than expected…

As the album dropped at midnight (eastern time), Swifties took to social media to complain that Spotify had crashed on them – no doubt a self-inflicted wound as they all jumped on right at midnight to listen to the new album:

Also, to the user who shared this listening to Mariah Carey’s “Last Kiss,” how are you holding up?

Down Detector also reported a significant spike in reports from users who were having problems with Spotify starting at midnight:

Swifties were not happy to say the least that some experienced delays to listen to The Life Of A Showgirl, but maybe that was a blessing in disguise, so they had more time to mentally prepare for the 11th track on the album “Wood.” This is, without a doubt, Taylor Swift’s most raunchy song to date.

The song has a cheeky double entendre meaning, with Swift opening the song by discussing how superstitious she was about Travis Kelce being her endgame, given her tumultuous relationship history. She’s knocking on “Wood” that this relationship will last, and of course, it does, given that Travis Kelce got on one knee earlier this year, making the pair fiancés.

“And baby, I’ll admit I’ve been a little superstitious (Superstitious)
Fingers crossed until you put your hand on mine (Ah)
Seems to be that you and me, we make our own luck
A bad sign is all good
I ain’t gotta knock on wood”

Sounds innocent enough, right? However, the song that initially seems like a cute tune about knocking on wood for good luck takes a 180-degree turn, delving into their life behind closed doors (if you know what I mean).

I mean, take a look at these lyrics:

“Forgive me, it sounds cocky
He ah-matized me and opened my еyes
Redwood tree, it ain’t hard to see
His love was thе key that opened my thighs
Girls, I don’t need to catch the bouquet, mm
To know a hard rock is on the way

And baby, I’ll admit I’ve been a little superstitious (Superstitious)
The curse on me was broken by your magic wand (Ah)
Seems to be that you and me, we make our own luck
New Heights (New Heights) of manhood (Manhood)
I ain’t gotta knock on wood”

WOAH NOW, MISS SWIFT.

The reference to Travis Kelce’s podcast, New Heights, not only confirms that this song is 100% about their sex life, but also his (I guess) impressive game in the bedroom. I mean, the writing is on the wall that this song is about Travis Kelce’s dong. Congrats on the sex… I guess?

If I were Travis Kelce, I’d be rolling up to EverBank Stadium on Monday for the game against the Jacksonville Jaguars with the biggest BDE ever.

To say the Swifties were unwell with this one is an understatement. “Wood” was wild work, Taylor Swift… wild work.

@emilyyjustice travis kelce the man that u are this is so funny #thelifeofashowgirl ♬ Wood – Taylor Swift