Dale Earnhardt Jr. Tells Hilarious Story About His Childhood Hamsters Named After ‘Days Of Our Lives’ Characters: “I Hate That I Did That To Him”

You never forget your first… hamsters?

This week on Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s podcast with his wife Amy called Bless Your Hardt, he told a hilarious story about two very special pets he had as a kid when he was around 10, which he was inspired to tell after playing a word association game with Amy.

Jr. told Amy and his producers that he had a “bunch of hamsters” when he was a kid, which they said was “weird,” and Jr. defended himself and explained that their names were Patch and Kayla, named after the couple on the soap opera Days Of Our Lives. First of all, the fact that a 10-year-old boy would name their hamsters after a couple on a soap opera is hilarious in and of itself.

But Patch and Kayla shared an aquarium, and they ended up having hamster babies, and it spiraled from there:

“I’ve never, ever heard anyone say, man, hamster owners are just f******* weird people. I was eight or 10 years old. People have rabbits, snakes. Do you hear these people? Y’al are weird, the way you think. Do you remember ‘Days Of Our Lives,’ and Patch and Kayla? That were romantically involved… this is like in the 80’s, and I named my hamsters Patch and Kayla.

And they had one aquarium, and they had babies. And so I’ve got the hamster with the babies, and Patch, Patch is taking the babies out of the nest, and taking them across to the other side. He’s mad.”

Amy asked the obvious question:

“Is he gonna eat them?”

Dale said that was the fear, so Patch had to get put into his own aquarium:

“I don’t know. That’s the fear. He was trying to separate the baby in the mommies, because he’s now jealous or whatever. So I had to put Patch in his own aquarium and that’ didn’t go well. Patch didn’t take that too well. The, the babies, it was too much for me. Too much for a 10-year-old.”

When asked about how he dealt with them, Dale explained that it wasn’t easy, especially at that age, and the second aquarium he got was a hand-me-down with a cardboard bottom, which Patch chewed through in an effort to escape.

Dale admitted that he put the two aquarium’s right next to each other every day, so Patch was always looking through the glass at “what he had,” which he thinks ultimately killed him and he died of a broken heart:

“I was not ready. We were not ready to scale up… I can scale the s*** out of some jerky, but scaling up hamsters? I will never… always in our hearts Patch, and Kayla, and the babies. Rest in peace. I will never forget Patch, man. We were boys. I hate that I did that to him. I was doing what I thought was right, and I’ll never forget it.

Anytime the word hamster is mentioned, this is where my mind goes. Patch, this is neither here nor there, but the aquarium, the second aquarium that I got was a hand-me-down or something. And the bottom of it was cardboard, and he ate the bottom of it out to find a way to escape.

And dumb*** me had them side-by-side, so he’s sitting here looking through the glass going, that’s what I had. Now here I am. I’m all alone, and where I want to be is literally right here. I killed him.”

Of course, Amy and everyone else is hysterically laughing at this point, and she laughed as she told her husband he had “tortured” those poor hamsters:

“You tortured his a**. God dang, Dale. You are an ***hole.”

It’s true, that was probably way too much for a 10-year-old Dale Jr. to handle, but like he said, he was just doing what he thought was right and unfortunately, it just wasn’t enough to save Patch. Honestly, as funny as that entire story is, I still think the best part is that he named them Patch and Kayla…

You have to watch him tell it yourself, though, because it’s so much funnier that way. It’s probably the hardest I’ve laughed all week watch this:

The post Dale Earnhardt Jr. Tells Hilarious Story About His Childhood Hamsters Named After ‘Days Of Our Lives’ Characters: “I Hate That I Did That To Him” first appeared on Whiskey Riff.