“I’ve Gotta Be With Him” – Kelley Earnhardt Says She Voluntarily Went To Military School Because She Needed To Take Care Of Her Brother, Dale Jr.

The world’s best sister, honestly.

The Prime Video Earnhardt documentary that was released in May was an incredibly interesting, and nuanced, look at Dale Earnhardt the race car driver, the man, the friend and the father, and Dale Earnhardt Jr.  and his sister Kelley played a huge part in the production of the series, in addition to being heavily featured in it, telling stories about their dad and memories that were both good and bad.

But one part of the film in particular really stuck out to me, which is where Dale and Kelley discuss Dale Jr. going to military school when he was a child after nearly being expelled from the private Christian school he was at. He didn’t realize his dad, Dale Earnhardt Sr. and stepmom Teresa, already knew about it, and of course, he was oblivious to the fact that they were notified about all of it throughout the school year.

He had earned himself a large stack of demerits that semester, and the school admin told him that as soon as they processed them after break, he would be done there.

Dale Jr. Goes To Military School

So Dale Sr. sent his youngest son off to military school, thinking it would get him more in line with the behavior he expected. Dale Jr. and his older sister, Kelley, both agreed that Dale Jr. wasn’t a bad kid, and he mostly got in trouble for talking and goofing around, but was never bad, mean or disrespectful towards anyone.

They did get the chance to go home on the weekends, though, but only if they didn’t have any outstanding demerits to work off. Kelley eventually joined her brother at the school by choice, because she wanted to be there to protect him. And not long after she started there, it was time for her first trip home:

“One particular weekend, and this was two, three weeks after Kelley got there, I’d been there for about a month, and I am homesick. The first two weeks you’re in military school they don’t let you go home, alright. That’s foreign as hell to any kid, especially a 7th grader, right?

So you’re missin’ the hell out of your family, and then I had, if you get any kind of demerits for not shining your shoes, not polishing your brass, not being on time for something, you get written up.

You have to work those demerits off on the weekend, and so that means staying and marching or doing detail, cleaning up trash, whatever. You’re gonna do something that’s gonna work these demerits off. Every demerit, you gotta half hour of work.

In just a couple weeks I’d been there, I’d had a handful of demerits that was gonna keep me from going home. It wasn’t uncommon for a lot of kids, new kids…”

Needless to say, Dale Jr. wasn’t going to be able to make the trip home to see his family that weekend with his sister, but he still wanted a chance to see his dad when he came to pick up Kelley:

“Dad was comin’ to pick Kelley up, and I got this information from Kelley, alright: ‘Dad’s coming to get me, he’ll be up at the front of the school at X hour, if you wanna see him.’

Alright, I’ll see him. So I am in my dorm, looking at the clock, it’s ten minutes till I’m gonna walk 150 yards to the front of the school to see dad pick up Kelley. Kelley’s gonna go home, but I’m at least gonna get to see dad.”

But as soon as he got out of the building to go see Sr., all Dale Jr. saw were the taillights of his dad’s black pick up truck. Of course, being so young at the time and missing his family already, he completely lost it:

“And I walked out of my dorm, and I could see the front of the school 150 yards away, and I see dad’s black pickup truck driving away, alright. And I lost it. I’m talkin’ bawling, and I’m running, and I mean, they’re gone, leaving, driving out, alright. And I’m freaking out.”

I’m not a parent, but just the thought of that about rips my heart out, and I’m sure any parent would agree that it would absolutely tear them up inside if their kid thought they didn’t love them or want to see them.

For three whole days, Jr. was thinking that his dad was so upset with him that he wouldn’t even see him when he drove all the way there to get his sister.

As it turns out, it wasn’t Dale Sr. who had picked Kelley up from military school that Friday morning:

“Kelley comes back and I’m like, ‘I can’t freakin’ believe that dad left and didn’t say hey to me.’ And she goes, ‘Oh, that was Chocolate driving dad’s truck.’ I was like, ‘God, dang. Why in the hell did dad, like…’ So then I go to, why didn’t dad want to come to see me?

You know, and that says a lot about… dad was at RCR working that day, just up there doing a seat or something in Winston Salem. I was the last thing on his mind.”

Dale Jr. has spoken publicly many times about what a complex relationship he had with his dad for most of his life. A lot of it had to do with times like these, where he felt like he wasn’t always his dad’s priority.

Kelley added that it was not out of line for Dale Jr. to think it was possible for their dad to go and get her without seeing his son, because that’s the kind of disciplinarian he was. If you did something wrong, you were going to pay for it and he wouldn’t tolerate anything less.

And growing up, they received strict punishment anytime they messed up, no matter what it was, even if it was an accident.

“We had extremely strict rules, and our trouble was massive. Like, when we got in trouble, they took our TV away, they took our radio away, they took toys out of room… I don’t know where the hell they put all this shit. But, I mean, it was massive.”

As adults, they both recognize that a lot of their dad’s parenting style stemmed from his childhood, as well as the times he’d grown up in.

Kelley Talks about Why She Decided To Go To Military School

During the doc, Dale recalled his shock when Kelley showed up one day in the uniform as a student. He couldn’t “register” the fact that she was there, but Kelley missed her brother and needed to be there to look after him. They went into much more detail than I’ve ever heard them talk about before, and it’s a really touching story:

“One day, I walk outside, and my sister walks up. and she’s wearing the s***. She’s a student. My mind could not register what I was seeing. I’m like, ‘What are you doing?’ She’s like, ‘I’m here!’ I missed you.'”

It will bring tears to your eyes, and I can’t lie, I cried a little watching this part… they had such a beautiful relationship, and Kelley explained she wanted to be there and protect her little brother like she always had:

“I made the choice to go because I wanted to take care of Dale. He was the scrawny little skinny, we used to call him chicken legs… I had to go there and protect him, because I didn’t have a clue what was going to go on at military school, but I figured that he wasn’t gonna be able to handle it without me.”

During an interview with Ryan McGee on Earnhardt: NASCAR’s Companion Podcast, Kelley opened up more on what was going on that led her to decide to go to military school voluntarily… something most teenagers wouldn’t dream of, and a very selfless, loving thing to do:

“I went to military school a couple weeks after Dale was there. I wish I could remember the exact scenario of why I wanted to there. But it was clearly the decision for only Dale to go there, because we took him there and I continued at the Christian school we were at. I don’t recall the specific incident where maybe I said I wanted to go, or maybe I was missing him and acting out and they said, hey, do you want to go too? I wish I did, I think that sometimes trauma in out life blocks out things…

I just imagine that in the timeframe, because I was9th grade so we had been at our dad’s a good six years, and I can just imagine that my thought process was, I’ve gotta be with him. Like, I’ve been looking after him in public school… it was hard sometimes to go to public school and have people talking terrible about your parent and how he was on the race track or whatever people thought.

Or them calling you names because they thought you were spoiled and had no idea what was going on in our house and what level of spoiled-ness we were at or not at.”

Throughout their lives, Kelley was always a mother figure to Dale, and she knew she wouldn’t have peace of mind unless she was there with Dale and knew what was going on with him:

“And so Dale and I were just so close, and always leaned on each other because if our parents were traveling, we didn’t have the relationship with dad where we could just go tell dad and Teresa what was going on or how we felt.We were kept by nannies or our family and had live-in nannies mostly, who were to follow strict rules and do these different things.

So I just imagine that I was gonna be most comfortable and feel better if we were together, and I could know what was going on with him, and he could know what was going on with me. But I hate I don’t remember the exact circumstance when that took place. My parents were probably like, hey, it’s easier if both of them are up there… logistics were a lot easier.”

Today, Jr. and Kelley co-own Jr. Motorsports, and she is the CEO and a very well-respected businesswoman in the racing world and beyond.

The two siblings have remained very close over the years, and even though they didn’t always feel unconditionally loved by their father, and spent a lot of time away from their mom after she moved to Virginia when they were very young for work, they had such a deep level of love and trust with each other that has allowed them to have an incredible relationship as adults too.

They clearly always needed each other, and I love hearing stories about them as kids and what an amazing sister and woman Kelley is:

The post “I’ve Gotta Be With Him” – Kelley Earnhardt Says She Voluntarily Went To Military School Because She Needed To Take Care Of Her Brother, Dale Jr. first appeared on Whiskey Riff.